Jokes from old times.

Something’s not fun on blogs. I propose to create a topic of jokes, but not just jokes, but jokes of the last century (word jokes three times). We post in the comments what your parents, grandparents told you and what you heard yourself.

Trotsky said:
— It’s very difficult to argue with Stalin: I quote him, and he quotes me.

A guy met a girl and decided to meet. But how? Neither he nor she has a phone. The guy says to the girl:
– Call me at the circus. I work as a clown.
– Okay, how can I ask??
– You say: invite the one who deceives everyone. A girl dials a number and asks the operator for a circus. Well, since she can’t pronounce the letter “r”, the telephone operator gave the CEC (Central Executive Committee) instead of the circus. Molotov answered the phone.
– Who do you want??
– I want the one who deceives everyone.
– This is for you, Comrade Stalin.

Middle of the working day. An absolutely empty department store, in which a couple of sad saleswomen are sitting. The door opens, a man comes in and gets himself some groceries. At the exit he is already met by a police squad.
– Why aren’t you at work??
– I’m a writer.
— Show your Writers’ Union membership card.
– Here you are.
… pause..
– Well, comrade writer, you couldn’t sit and pee until eighteen-zero-zero?

Under Andropov, policemen began to walk in https://gambliicasino.uk/bonus/ groups of three. One student tells another joke on the tram:
— Why did the police start walking in groups of three??
– Because one can write, another can read, the third must keep an eye on these intellectuals..
A voice from behind: “Your documents,” and in front of the students – two in uniform. They give away student.
One cop to another:
– Van, write it down..

— You don’t need an extra ticket to Red Square for the funeral?
– Thank you, I have a subscription.

Long line at the liquor store. Heat. The men are standing and steaming. Here one can’t stand it:
-Yes, I’m sick of all this already. Well, as much as possible! I’ll go to the Kremlin right now and kill the hell out of this Gorbachev!
The people support: “Come on, it’s a good cause. ». The man leaves.
Half an hour later he returns, sad, sad… They ask him:
-Well, I killed it?
-No, guys… there’s an even longer queue..

Long line at the liquor store. Heat. The men are standing and steaming. Here one can’t stand it:
-Yes, I’m sick of all this already. Well, as much as possible! I’ll go to the Kremlin right now and kill the hell out of this Gorbachev!
The people support: “Come on, it’s a good cause. ». The man leaves.
Half an hour later he returns, sad, sad… They ask him:
-Well, I killed it?
-No, guys… there’s an even longer queue..

A little girl approaches Khrushchev on the street:
– Uncle, uncle, my dad told me that you not only launched the first satellite, but also the national economy
— Girl, tell your dad that I don’t only plant corn

— Vladimir Ilyich loved children very much. Sometimes he would sit on a bench, and if a girl sat next to him, he would take out a razor and sharpen it on his belt. He looks at the girl and sharpens and sharpens again. – So what does love have to do with it, Nadezhda Konstantinovna? – But I could have slashed!

Late evening. Lenin and Krupskaya lie in bed.
L: Nadenka, let’s be quiet..
K: You can’t, the pioneers are sleeping behind the wall!
L: Well, let’s do it once..
K: You can’t, they’ll hear you!
L: Well, let’s quietly..
K: Okay.
L. and K. (singing): hostile vibrations are blowing over us..

Excursion to the Hermitage. The guide leads the group to the painting “Lenin in Poland”. In the picture there is a hut in Razliv, two pairs of legs stick out from the hut. The guide explains:
– these are the legs of Felix Edmundovich, and these are Nadezhda Konstantinovna.
Question from the crowd:
-Where is Lenin??!
Answer:
— And Lenin in Poland.

Third Komsomol Congress.
— Tovaissi!
The crowd chants:
— Lennon! Lennon!
– Tovaissi, I’m not Lennon, I’m Lenin!
— Lennon! Lennon!
– Okay, to hell with you… Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..